Horned and Enthralled

A hand, a bottle, filling up her glass with thick, red wine. Selene didn't even need to turn around, she knew who it was. She'd been vaguely staring into space at the bar, finishing off her drink after her sister left for her train. He'd not even been on her mind for once, now all other thoughts vanished.

"Drinking alone?" Nikos asked blandly, yet somehow embedding the phrase with a grenade of emotions, she felt mocked, seduced, threatened and cared for all at once.

She gulped the wine to steady herself. "Not any more."

They finished the bottle, he told her about his travels, charming, bewitching. Her cares melted away, there was only their easy familiarity, the flickering heat of their desires. All too soon the bar staff were wiping tables pointedly, and they chuckled and walked the short distance to Selene's building.

She paused at the door to her flat. "Is this going to be the same as usual?" Her voice sounded light, but her heart was pounding.

Nikos touched the small of her back gently. "Just let me in."

The key turned, her face hit the carpet, the door slammed behind them. Wildness and tearing, hot breath, the smell of mountains, a glimpse of hooves and matted fur, something brutal and ancient, complete abandon...

Selene was roused from her daze by a blanket being wrapped around her, she smiled up at her beast, all peace and shining now.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, not sounding too concerned.

"Naturally," she responded in the same calm tone. It was a matter of pride between them to keep emotions muted, but they could still read the subtle language of flared nostrils and dilated pupils. He kissed her forehead like a shot of heroin and carried her into bed.

He stroked her hair, "Rest now, Lenie, I'll still be here in the morning."

She was surprised, but too tired to argue, and anyway he didn't make promises unless he meant them. She slept without dreaming, yet touching another world.

Waking was like time travel, eyes opened, soft lips, eyes closed, eyes opened an hour later, slow kneading of breasts, eyes closed, eyes opened an hour later, tongue in moist slit, eyes only half closed this time, and then opened very wide indeed.

Nikos helped her make breakfast, another oddity, he usually took over completely or allowed himself to be waited on hand and foot.

As they ate, Selene tried to hide her bemused looks, but he spotted them anyway, raising an eyebrow until she blushed. "It's just... unusual... you're being all... normal..."

His gaze darkened. "Why, thank you, it is an effort to hide what a freak I am, glad to know I'm finally succeeding..."

She felt the ground drop away, how could she have been so stupid? He let her stew for a few more moments, then shook his head and smiled down at the table. Selene breathed again, she'd lost a point, but no more than that.

"Shall I wash up, or is that too normal?" He continued poking her sore points, but now it felt like a teasing tickle.

She grimaced and helped him with the dishes. "No, it's nice, but, you know what I mean, how come you're not being the Ice King?"

He didn't snap at her this time, seeming to honestly consider her question. "I'm not sure, I just do what feels right, and I wanted to be myself with you more."

It was the closest he'd ever got to a declaration of affection, and she didn't know how to respond, just tried to stay calm.

Nikos seemed shy, looking over at her through his long, dark lashes. "I hope that's enough for you."

Her heart was in her mouth, not sure if this was part of one of his games. She just nodded, wide eyed in the deafening stillness.

He broke the spell by grabbing her arm and pulling her back into the lounge, "Don't worry Lenie, being myself is being a sex crazed monster, as well."

They laughed and tumbled like kids, the awkwardness forgotten, everything was easy and clear and simple. But then, like a snake in a tree, the shadow rose again. Nikos returned from a trip to the bathroom with a horned headdress left over from the last play Selene had worked on.

"I think this would suit me," he said as he placed it on his head. His feet and chest were bare, and with his bangles and beads, he looked like a Pagan god, like something out of Selene's deepest fantasies. Everything turned into slow motion and her field of vision narrowed to include only him.

With his ability to read her, there was no way he'd miss her frozen arousal. He seemed to pause for a few moments, considering her, then in an haughty and irresistible tone, demanded, "on your knees, thrall."

She obeyed before she even realised what she was doing.

"Worship me."

Her hands knew what he meant, opening his flies, grasping his thick cock, sliding it deep into her mouth. She was always happy to pleasure him like this, but in the mood she'd dropped into, it was blissful. She worked with zeal, every movement of her lips perfectly judged to bring him the most perfect sensations, quietly singing his praises with gentle vibrations in her throat. Soon she was rewarded with his sacrament, and she moved back, gazing up at him in devotion.

He looked a little spaced out, and took off the headdress, sitting down on the sofa. "Wow," was all that came out.

Selene couldn't quite bring herself to rise from her knees, although things were back to their usual pace, a part of her was still yearning for the certainty she'd felt moments before.

Nikos reached out and stroked her face, wiping away some stray liquids with his thumb. "You enjoyed that, didn't you?" He said in a strange tone.

She nodded dumbly, it had triggered her most primal desires, something she craved above anything else. It wasn't about the horns, or the oral, it was just that feeling of being in touch with something so powerful it was futile to even think of resisting. To serve because it was unquestionably the right thing to do. To reach somewhere sacred.

He smiled ruefully, "Well, I did too, a lot..." he stared off into space, "you know, if that's what you need, I can just arrive, use you, and go."

Selene considered his offer seriously. He would be perfect at that, the smooth, cold Master she secretly desired. What if they just ended up being vanilla fuckbuddies? It would be too late to go back if she wanted to.

"Come on, be honest with me," he murmured, "don't you long to be my thrall, no responsibilities, no worries, just the simplicity of doing what you're told?"

Of course she would, he knew that, but would it be enough? She was sure he'd be fine with whatever she decided, but what would make him happiest? She tried to read his expression, it was impassive but she could get under the surface if she tried. He seemed curious, aroused at the thought of having a slave at his service, but there was definitely something else, something... sad? Was he... lonely?

Her heart flooded with warmth. She had to take the risk, it was the right thing to do. Selene stood up, picked up the headdress, and smiled beatifically. "Don't you long for that too?" She put the horns on, and stared directly at him without hiding her emotions.

He flinched, eyes widening, not being able to resist responding to the combination of strength and love she was radiating. His gaze softened, something melting inside.

"Let me be your Goddess," she demanded gently.

Nikos chuckled and pulled her down into his lap, legs either side of his hips, friendly and intimate. "You already are," he whispered in her ear, then kissed her sweetly.

He unzipped his trousers and slid his cock deep inside her. They moved together like a ritual, a ceremony of lust. He was still in control with her above him, and Selene couldn't help but be relieved. Whether he was the High Priest or Wild Beast, she could still let herself go with him, it was somehow even more potent without the hierarchy being fixed. It was their desire that was sacred, what was manifested by their connection, rather than one of them being the container of power.

As they fucked, breathing hard, in synch, it was like being possessed, but becoming your most true self as well. When they came it felt like they were surrendering everything, opening up to the void and being filled again with endless abundance. The day to day fears and weaknesses stripped away, leaving only the awe, the majesty, the light.

They couldn't let go of each other afterwards, moving sleepily until they were spooned together, floating in infinite bliss, reborn and ready for whatever was to come.

Doing it right

His eyes are mocking, but there's a flicker of wariness. She's so hungry for him, can he keep control? "My, my, you're dying for it tonight," he murmurs.

"Do me."

He chuckles, "What? Did you really just say that?"

"Yes, I'll do anything you want, but, please, do me now."

His hand reaches out to her, hangs in the air for a moment, strokes her face. "I'll hold you to it, you know that, I'll use you now anyway, then I'll make you do things that make you sick tomorrow."

"I don't care, I put myself in your hands, I trust you."

He shivers imperceptibly. Does she know what it does to him when she says that? He'd do anything she wants just to hear that, to see her eyes, gazing up at him so vulnerable, so helpless, so infinitely strong.

Instead of telling her this, he just smirks. "Oh dear. Bad judge of character."

She doesn't waver. Brave.

"Open up," he commands.

Her lips part instantly, fingers slide inside, and her eyes close. He doesn't know why she likes it so much, just knows that her mind is slowing down, that she feels like a drug is coursing through her veins, that she's getting wet. He's given her lots of addictions over the years, but this one was hard wired before they met.

He takes the time to think. What does she need from him? How can he take her to the place where she's satisfied? She might think she wants something brutal, for the pain to be beaten out of her, but his job is to know her better than she does herself.

"Be still for me," he whispers in her ear as he slowly glides her clothes from her body. She's as peaceful and glowing as a saint, yet he can see her muscles twitch as he caresses her so lightly it's on the edge of tickling.

She gasps when she feels him kissing her clit. Her flesh is hot and slippery and the coolness of his mouth just fires her all the more. He senses and leads her pleasure through his tongue: wide, slow licks become a rapid pattering rain, then slide into an irresistible spiralling motion.

As her orgasm approaches, he pulls away and gets up. She mewls plaintively. "Keep your eyes closed, stay standing," he tells her, his cold tone not giving away that he's watching her with a massive grin. The room is warm, so he knows her shuddering is caused by her extreme arousal.

He waits just beyond the point that where she wonders if he's still in the room, then orders, "Fall backwards." On some level she knows the bed is there of course, but she obeys too quickly for her to have considered this first.

He pins her down, fucks her, no need for anything fancy, she's completely his already.

After a while she opens her eyes without thinking, they flicker in fear, but he smiles kindly. "Shh, it's OK," he tells her. They both see nothing but the other's gaze, feel no barriers, melt into each other. "Ahh, f..." He loses words as she comes around him, he pulses deep inside her, everything is bliss for an endless moment.

He holds her close as she drifts off, marvelling again at how all he has to do to please her is do exactly what he wants to do to please himself.

Ghost

The young man was sat at his usual bench in the park, eating lunch by the skate ramps. Eliane appreciated the view as much as he did. She slid into place next to him but he made no sign of having seen her.

"Boo," she whispered.

He jumped, glancing around, but looking right through her. "Fucking hell, you're going to give me a heart attack one of these days..."

Eliane chuckled and tickled him lightly on the back of the neck, then when he flapped in that direction, gave him feather light touches around his smooth face, skinny chest, wiry arms, until he sighed in frustration and gave up trying to fight her.

She was pleased, the suggestions were holding well, not only couldn't he see her, but it didn't occur to him to grab her hand or wrestle her away. He was helpless and didn't know why.

"Shh, Jessie," she breathed in his ear, "you're safe now, I'm here."

He relaxed with a childlike smile, eyes glazing slightly, and her heart went out to him. He'd been so drunk the night they'd met, wild and broken, and something had called out to her. It hadn't taken much to seduce him, she was half lost too, and they'd fallen into instant rapport, both trying to blot out the pain with booze, loud music, and feral lust.

She'd let him remember that night, but had shut away his ability to connect it with his invisible tormentor. Perhaps a part of him knew who she was, but so long as it just stayed nice and quiet while she had her way, it didn't really matter.

Eliane stroked his hair gently, enjoying the feeling of his long, dark locks sliding through her fingers. She felt protective of him, like an older sister, helping him have some direction in his life. A slightly sick direction, but he'd told her all his fantasies while he was under, wishing he was brave enough to try them out, and it was her pleasure to help him fulfil them.

"OK, playtime for Jessie now," she murmured.

Immediately he sat up straighter, looked older, more assured. His eyes took on a predatory gleam as he looked over at the skater boys.

"That one keeps checking you out," Eliane was more than invisible now, she was just a voice in his head, on the edge of his consciousness, but impossible to resist.

Jessie smiled, he'd been plotting his moves before she'd arrived anyway, not realising that he'd actually carry them out.

"Go and get him," she gently commanded, sitting back to enjoy the show. Her protégé was an excellent operator, chatting smoothly to the kids, only a few years younger than him anyway. Without it being obvious, Jessie managed to home in on the cute guy who'd been looking over, and the others drifted away while he reeled him in.

Eliane knew better than to interfere with this, Jessie was a natural at friendly persuasion, he just needed a bit of a boost in confidence. She slipped away to let herself into his flat and wait for the next stage.

It wasn't long before the pair arrived, she listened from the bedroom as they chatted, and smirked when the usual seduction album started to play. Peering round the door, she was pleased to see that things hadn't gone to far, time to make an entrance.

"Sleepytime for Jessie, now." She said briskly as she came into the living room. The skater boy turned round, startled, but her friend just fell back onto the sofa with a blissed out expression, eyes closed, and hand absently gliding over his groin.

The kid stood up nervously, "Uh, sorry, uh, I saw you at the park didn't I? Do you live here?" He looked back at the tranced man with fear and curiosity. "What have you done... hypnosis, right?"

Good, he was relatively bright, much more fun to work with. "Yes, clever boy," she purred, "he's deeply asleep and doesn't hear us." She sat down, and motioned that he should return to sit opposite her. "What's your name, baby?"

"Kurt," he answered as he warily perched on the edge of the seat.

Eliane laughed softly, probably the child of grunge parents, he'd lived up to his namesake with shaggy, dyed blond hair and a distant, haunted look.

"Erm, is this, like, a threesome thing?" He asked hesitantly.

She smiled, showing her teeth. "Would you like it if it was?"

"Um, I guess that'd be OK, I'm bi and stuff..."

"And stuff?"

He looked at her evenly. "I just go with the flow."

Good to know. "I'll let you get on with things in a minute, trust me, you won't even know I'm here."

He grinned wryly and nodded to the sofa. "What, like him?"

Yes, definitely a smart one. "It looks quite nice, though, doesn't it? He's happy, relaxed, turned on, no worries, no concerns, no responsibilities, just drifting, feeling so good..."

Despite himself, the skater was drawn into her soothing description, watching the other man's chest rise and fall regularly, listening to the soft rhythm of his breathing. Jessie's erection was straining at his tight jeans, pressing against his hand a little with every heartbeat. It was too entrancing a tableau to resist, and soon Kurt's own breath had fallen in time, his eyelids drooping, he sank back against the cushions, his own cock tenting a little in his cut-offs.

Eliane wished this could go on forever, they were so peaceful, so perfect. She kept her voice as quiet as possible, not wanting to break the spell, as she subtly linked his focus on Jessie to not needing to consciously see or hear her. She'd have to see how well he took direction, he seemed submissive to the older man anyway, so she just reinforced how arousing it was to let other people make decisions for you, hoping that would be enough. After telling him that he didn't need to remember seeing her - he'd just spaced out listening to the music, she woke both of them up slowly and waited.

They blinked, and grinned shyly at each other, not sure if they'd been the only one to doze off.

"Wow, that's some band there, I totally went!" said Kurt, awed, not looking in Eliane's direction at all.

She relaxed, it seemed to be working. "Get Kurt a drink, have one too."

Jessie swung into action, turning the record over, then getting a bottle and glasses. He was efficient and sexy, cool enough to impress the younger man, easygoing enough to inspire trust. He handed over a glass of amber spirits, looking cheekily through his fringe, pale eyes darker than usual. "You old enough to drink?"

Kurt sipped at his whiskey, obviously not that used to it. "Heh, yeah... just."

Corrupting the innocent, her favourite game. "Stick your finger in your glass, then put it in his mouth. Say this..."

"Maybe you need me to teach you..." he repeated after her, parting Kurt's pillowy lips with his finger. As they boy looked up at him through long lashes and suckled, they both knew that he wasn't innocent at all. Somehow, Jessie managed to turn his longing into an arrogant air of entitlement.

Eliane wasn't so strong, whimpering a little at the sight, before gasping, "Drink but don't swallow, kiss him, let it flow into his mouth."

Her puppet obeyed, as much in thrall to the sensual compliance of his conquest as he was to her orders. The kid was good, very good: leading Jessie back to the sofa while seeming to be the one being guided.

The woman watching couldn't compete, she felt a stab of bittersweet pain at not being part of the scene in front of her. "Use him, use each other, just do what comes naturally," she rasped, breathing raggedly.

Time slowed, strong hands undressing each other, claiming skin, caressing and teasing. Lips on cocks, tongues in assholes, she lost track of who was who, wishing beyond reason that she had half the power this fair haired teenager had.

Eventually, watcher and watched were all spent, she'd kept turning the album over, but it had faded to silence again. The sweat dried on naked bodies in the dim light, and a peace settled over them.

Kurt stroked the other man's hair fondly, "I've got to go back for tea, Mum'll be expecting me."

Jessie groaned, "fuck, I feel like such a perv when you say things like that."

"Heh, don't be silly," the boy replied as he pulled on his clothes, "I mean, you are a perv, but not 'cos I'm eighteen."

Eliane felt more invisible than ever. Although she'd felt privileged to witness the passion that had passed between them, she still felt like an interloper, a parasite. She felt sickened by herself, wished that she could just have something pure for a change.

"Wanna take my number?" asked Jessie.

"Sure," replied Kurt, but as they fiddled with their phones he continued, "I'm not sure I'm quite what you're after though."

The older guy was on the back foot again. "Huh?"

"Never mind, you'll work it out," he walked to the door, and turned before he left. "Oh, and thank you."

Eliane shivered, she could have sworn he'd been looking right at her when he said it.

Winter

Perdy tugged her coat tighter around herself, trying to get closer to the fire and ignore the drunk babes racing around in barely enough clothes for summer. She wasn't cut out for these outdoor parties, they seemed to be all the rage, but they just felt like an advert, the surface glitter of fun but without any real depth.

She stared into the flames, and felt the warmth from the mulled wine seep through her. It wouldn't be too bad, if only she wasn't having to put up with Lee whingeing on about work next to her. Eventually she noticed he'd said something about going to get another drink and nodded vaguely.

She let the flickering lull her again and barely noticed when a man slid in place next to her.

"You look like a statue standing there," he said in a soft voice.

She glanced at him, he looked a bit scruffy, but had compelling, twinkling eyes. She smiled without really knowing why. "Must have frozen..."

He moved closer to her. "I'll warm you up..."

Perdy laughed, it was such a seedy come on. She didn't really mind, but out of some kind of duty replied that she was taken.

He shrugged, "no you're not, he's not interested in you, leaves you here, alone by the fire, staring into the depths, growing still, and cold, like marble, just waiting for someone to come along, someone who can just lay their hands on you..." his touch was there without her noticing the transition, "and you'd start to come back to life, start to feel warm, happy, relaxed..."

She was breathing hard and leaning into him as if they'd been lovers for years.

His mouth tickled against her ear, "and aroused..."

How was this so exciting? This stranger had just walked into her deepest self without any effort. Her locks had fallen open for him. They looked at each other out of the corner of their eyes, something crackling between them.

He held out his hand to her. "The woods?"

She nodded, took his hand, and followed him into the unknown.

Interlude

"Still fighting?"

"Gnnn..."

"I'll take that as a yes... Why are you making this hard on yourself, honey?"

"Got to..."

"Aww, shhh, that's not true you know, you can just give in any time..."

"Nooooo..."

"Why, babe, don't you want to just let go and feel good?"

"Mmm..."

"See, of course you do, just let it happen, relax, accept, give in..."

"Stop it... please..."

"You don't mean that, I know what you want, deep down, I'm helping you find that place, go deeper for me, down into the warm, safe place where you want to be..."

"Ohhhh...."

"Shhh, there you go, sliding down, can't fight it anymore..."

"Must..."

"Must sleep, must surrender, must submit... there's no choice any more, no other option, only peace, and comfort, and security..."

"Uhhh..."

"It'll feel so good, I promise, you can trust me, let me guide you, follow me down..."

"Down..."

"Yes sweetie, sliding helplessly down, no strength left, falling..."

"Falling..."

"Into endless, infinite, bliss..."

"Yessss...."

"Yes."

Queen Me

Max was so cute and vulnerable in the mornings, snuggling into her like a little boy. Sofia wrapped her arms around him, feeling protective, it was nice to be the one doing the comforting at times like these, and she knew he liked it too, although he wouldn't admit it.

He turned to look at her, half-lidded. She ran her fingers around his lips, and he kissed them sleepily, then took them in his mouth. Sofia started to breathe heavily, his tongue was soft and compelling, she wanted it elsewhere.

"Go down, for me, Max," she whispered smoothly. His eyes widened for a moment, before fluttering shut. He gently kissed his way down her neck, sucking and nibbling her breasts, then following the path down to her clit.

Sofia held onto his head with reverence, it was a precious gift for him to pleasure her like this - not just with his tongue, that was used frequently and efficiently to melt her mind and make her beg. What was rare was this mood of service, of worship. She felt like something perfect, that he longed to be close to, lived to make happy. She could barely breathe.

His eyes opened, they were distant and deep, so given over that she shivered as she felt herself echoing them. As they lost themselves in each other, the feelings turned into endless warm waves of pleasure, and he seemed as overtaken by the climax as she was.

They lay there a while, Sofia cradling Max's head to her belly, enjoying the quiet and intimacy. After a while, as he wriggled up to face her, she noted that he was still rock hard.

"Hey, Sofe, did you just trigger me?" He asked.

She chuckled, it had been years since he'd let her hypnotise him. "No, babe, you've never let me set any up."

He smiled oddly. "Mmm, shame, it really felt like you did."

Sofia stroked his back thoughtfully, she knew Max wasn't into traditional sub/dom roles or anything, but he did generally enjoy being in control and easily resisted her if she tried to top him.

Still, he certainly seemed to be suggesting he'd like her to be in charge for a while, and she was getting turned on again by the prospect. "I guess your subconscious desires just did all the work for me..." she murmured seductively.

The air became charged, flickering, Max's mouth opened slightly, as if he was going to say something, but then didn't know how to respond. That was unheard of, and Sofia pressed her advantage.

She lightly guided him onto his back, then knelt over him, leaning forwards, doing something clever with her arms to make her breasts look mouthwatering. "Maybe it's time to let them out, admit that you want to let down your defences, relax, open up..."

He let out a slight whimper and his eyes glazed. His body slumped into the bed, but his prick was raging, trying to push its way inside her achingly close hole. She kept herself a fraction out of reach, still whispering soft soothing words, until he was panting with desire. "Ahhh, Sofia! Please!"

She laughed gently, amazed to hear him beg for something he would usually take in an instant. "Shhh, Maxie... Listen carefully..." She held his cock millimetres inside her entrance for a few seconds, saying firmly: "Your pleasure comes from my pleasure. Accept."

Max groaned and nodded desperately, "yes, yes, I accept..."

"Good boy!" She pushed down onto him slowly, then waited to see what he would do.

There was a pause while his eyes rolled back, but then he managed to shift gears, watching her carefully as he started to thrust into her at her favourite pace, stimulating the right points to give her maximum gratification.

He stroked her back and thighs, then pulled her hips down in rhythm with his cock. Sofia smiled in encouragement, trying to stay in charge despite the ecstasy he was bringing her. It was a strange feeling, this was just a hair breadth from him controlling her, after all they both knew that what she loved most of all was him pressing her buttons, puppeting her with her own needs. How would he be able to push her over without that moment of surrender?

They looked at each other with something pure and intense flowing between them.

"Tell me what you're thinking," she gasped.

He struggled for a moment, used to being guarded with his thoughts, but then just let the words flow out, "Ah, not really thinking straight... just want to make you happy... make you feel good... you're so fucking amazing..."

Sofia melted, she leant down and kissed him deeply, then they rolled over a little as she stroked his hair and gazed at him lovingly.

"Use me," Max breathed, "take everything I've got..."

Sofia hesitated, but his face radiated a need to play this game. She imagined his will becoming hers, could feel the energy flowing into her, she was like a vampire, powerful and irresistible. He seemed to be getting weaker, but more and more beautiful, she just couldn't stop herself, the feral passions overtaking her as she fucked him hard and wild.

He seemed to be on the point of breaking, "Ah, please, destroy me..."

"Why? Why are you doing this?" She hissed, feeling close to ripping his throat out with her teeth.

His eyes were drifting closed, the last of his strength going. "Because you're everything... my life... my Queen..."

She came hard, and took him with her, somehow feeding the life back into him as they shared heartbeats. When Max opened his eyes again, they were a little wary, but had the familiar mischievous glint back in them.

"Blimey, Sofe, fancy you making me do all that!"

She shook her head in faux incredulity. "Yeah, I was totally taking advantage, wasn't I?"

He smirked at her, on familiar ground again. "You really were, I hope you're not imagining I'm going to call you shit like that from now on."

Sofia didn't bother answering, just started wrestling him, enjoying the press of his body against hers as he asserted himself. She was happy to know that despite their preferred dynamic, some part of him was always her willing, grateful subject.

The Homecoming

As soon as I stepped through the door, I knew he'd been in the flat, sitting in my chair, reading my books, drinking my wine. Was he still there? I turned on the light and furtively looked around, an interloper in my own home.

I tried the bedroom, my underwear drawer was open and had been rifled through. My best friend the stalker. I sensed him behind me a heartbeat before the knife was at my throat.

"Shhh... no sound... nice and quiet..."

I closed my eyes and tried to stay calm, feeling his breath, cool on my neck, soothing me despite the adrenaline. He was savouring the smell of my fear, and it was delicious to be his meal again.

"Missed you," he whispered in a childlike voice, and I nodded back wordlessly, still wary of the blade.

He chuckled to see this, put the knife down, then turned me around. I opened my eyes and we stared at each other for a few long moments, emotions pooling.

"Why didn't you call?" he asked, seeming dispassionate, but I knew the signs. I'd upset him, and that made me hurt on a level that nothing else compared to.

I reached out my hand, but he batted it away. "I'm so sorry," I tried, "I didn't get time, or it was too late..."

He wasn't impressed. I could have phoned anytime - he was a night owl anyway - but it had just been too difficult to bear. I needed to be with him so much, it had seemed better not to think about it.

I looked down at the ground and felt tears start to well up. He watched them fall for a while, then reached out and softly wiped them away. My heart made that peaceful snap that it did whenever something like this happened.

"Hey, it's OK," he murmured kindly, "I'm a big boy, I can take it."

That just made it worse, but I managed to steady myself and look back up into his shining forgiveness. "Did you leave me any wine?" I asked bravely.

"Eh, maybe a bit," he led me back into the living room and put on a record while I opened a new bottle. "Come on, tell me all about it," he sat on the sofa and I handed him a glass then flopped back against him.

"Oh god, it was awful..."

It was good to be home.