Friday 23 April 2010

Track 5


Hey

hey

Do you remember me?

haha, no, should I?

We chatted last week

haha, sorry I was pretty wasted, I guess

Yeah

cool, so, what you up to?

Oh, Just hanging out, watching some porn

haha, cool

You?

what?

What are you up to?

oh, just chilling, got some music on

What kind?

huh?

What music are you listening to?

oh, some grunge

Yeah? You like that kind of thing?

sure, it gets me going, hehe

Maybe I'll send you some stuff

haha cool

So give me your email address

what?

So I can send you some mp3s

oh sure, it's [deleted]

Good. Are you wasted now?

hehe, a little

OK. Did you get the email?

huh?

I just sent you some mp3s in an email

oh, cool, ok

Got them?

yeah, wow, looks good

Put them on

what?

Listen to the first track now

which one's the first one?

It's got 01 at the start

oh yeah, haha

Just open them all up, play them in order

sure thing

Is it playing?

yeah, wow, man, this is pretty good!

I know. Just focus on the music, let it seep into you.

fuck, man, this is heavy shit.

Yeah, it really gets inside you doesn't it?

yeah

It's so slow, and powerful, it just kind of pulls your mind down with it

yeah

Sometimes it seems to fill up all the gaps between your thoughts, wrapping them up, soft and safe

yeah

Dissolving them in dark, deep water.

mmm

Leaving you blank, open, receptive

mmm

It's nice to just drift like this, reading my words without needing to think about them.

mmm

You're starting to feel horny, like the music is lapping gently against you, making you feel good

ahhh

Stick your hand down your pants, your hand fucking you slowly, not under your control any more

ahh god

That's right, you don't need to think, don't need to be in charge, don't need to be responsible for you actions.

fuck

Good, just keep fucking yourself, for me, because I'm telling you too

jesus

Feels good, doesn't it? Feels good to give up control like this, feeling better and better with every stroke.

ahh

Sorry, was that an answer?

yes, yes it feels good

And you want to keep feeling good don't you?

yes

You want to feel even better, don't you?

yes

Yes, what?

yes please

Good. Just relax, you're doing very well, keep following my words, keep fucking yourself for me.

nggghh

You want to come don't you?

yesss

But you can't, can you?

nooo

Because you need my permission.

yessss

So what are you going to do?

uhhhh, ask?

Don't sound so uncertain. You know what to do.

pplease

Please what?

please can i come?

You can do better than that.

i don't know - please - i really need to come!

A bit better. Keep going.

i can't think - the music - please, i'm begging you - please let me come!

What would you do for me if I let you?

ahhhh - anything - anything! please

Good. Come on the cymbal crash in track 5. Then listen to the rest of the album. Then go to bed.

oh thank you thank you you're so hot can i talk to you again please

[offline]

Sunday 11 April 2010

Things I Remembered

  1. Love is endless.  I don't need to hold on, don't need to scrimp and save, as if I'm losing something when I love someone. I don't have to choose who to give it to as if I've only got a limited amount to offer - I love people as much as I love them, regardless of how I feel about anyone else. The more I give, the more I'm replenished, and have even more to give next time. 
  2. You can't control other people.  However much I'd like to be able to puppet those around me - even if it's to get them to control me - everyone makes their own choices.  You can trick them, you can manipulate and influence them, but they're still unpredictable, still free, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
  3. Now is all there is.  I've been going round and round, trying to plan what I'd do if this, if that, but of course all that's going to do is drive me mad.  All I can do is respond to what's in front of me, try to do the right thing and enjoy the perfectly imperfect moments.