Saturday, 15 November 2008

Cold Eyes

This is a fantasy that turned into the start of a story.  The characters are some I've been working on for a while, although I haven't published anything with them in yet, so don't worry if you don't know the backstory.


I turned up on his doorstep, shivering and crying. I shouldn't have done this, I was almost ready to run away when he opened the door and it was too late.

He looked at me coldly, "I told you not to come here uninvited." There was no sign of the charm he usually seduced me with - I'd gone against our agreement and would have to fight to get anything at all.

I was deperate, and tried to sound appealing through the tears. "I'm sorry, please... please let me in, I've got nowhere else to go!" I looked up at him with big eyes, "I'll be good, I'll do anything you want."

He laughed deep in his throat and I knew I'd done enough. "Come on then, crybaby, I'll hold you to that!" He left the door open and walked away from me; I scuttled upstairs after him gratefully.

I entered his living room to see him settled into his chair as if he'd never got up. I made for the sofa but he shook his head curtly, so I stood awkwardly in front of him.

"So, who's upset you this time?" He asked, no trace of sympathy in his voice.

I hesitated, then blurted out, "Josh of course! He's gone and run off with some little blonde tart again!"

"Well, shit, that's nothing new! If that's all, I'm sorry I let you in!"

I looked down at my feet. "He says he loves her..."

He laughed, cruelly. "Does he now? He's getting soft. Well I can see why you came to me, then."

I met his cold stare. He might never tell me he loved me, but at least he wouldn't fall in love with anyone else. Right now that was some kind of comfort. We understood each other: I wanted him to hurt me, to scour out the stupid pain my brother had caused me. In return I was going to have to pay, the only thing I didn't know yet was the price.


His orders were always flat, disinterested. For some reason that thrilled me more than overt passion would - I knew he desired me, or he wouldn't have let me in. I started to take my clothes off teasingly, trying to arouse him enough to crack the ice, but my efforts were in vain.

"I don't want all that bollocks, just get 'em off," he spat.

I should have known better than to try cheap tricks like that. I got my clothes off as quickly as I could without ceremony, and was both gratified and frightened to see his eyes glint as I glanced at the uncurtained window.

"Well, I suppose we can start with that, if you want me to go easy on you," he feigned kindness, and I sighed, turning to face the street. It wasn't busy, and his flat was on the first floor, but I didn't like being vulnerable like this. When I'm naked on stage, I'm in control. Here I was very far from it, and anyone looking in would see that.

Now my back was to him, his voice became softer, although no less commanding. "Slide your fingers in, slowly mind, and circle them around the way I like." I'm not an exhibitionist, but there was certainly something hot about exposing myself like this. I felt the humiliation become more manageable as the fuzzy warmth of losing control took over.

"Let every circle turn your mind off a little more," he was almost whispering now, but I could hear his words clearly without my thoughts getting in the way. Dreamily I noticed a woman sit down at the bus stop across the road. All she'd have to do was look up to get a full view of my show.

My hand sped up, slipping greedily around and inside. "Seen someone?" he asked casually. I nodded, too caught up to speak. "I think you know what to do, then," he was sure I'd obey the unspoken order, and I groaned knowing he was right.

I took a step towards the window, willing the woman to look up so I could finish this beautiful torture. The moments stretched out, I was getting closer and closer, but couldn't tip myself over without the trigger of shame. Finally she glanced up but her eyes slid off me immediately. I made a mewling noise and he chuckled, "Patience, Kitty."

I was panting, right on the edge, trying to beam messages into the woman's mind. Her head tilted up again, gaze drifting over the windows, perhaps unconsciously drawn to the movement, then at last she really saw what was going on in front of her. I shook with gratitude and felt his cold eyes boring into me from behind, her hot stare stabbing me from the front. I felt impaled, skewered between them, a puppet serving only to generate a response in a stranger. She blushed and looked away and I fell to the floor, burning too.

He got up to close the curtains, checking to see if our audience was still there. "Aw, we frightened her off," he said with slight regret. I didn't ask how he knew who'd been watching, he probably worked it out from my body language. "Right, that was fun, let's get on with something a bit more demanding."

I was pathetically grateful to feel my earlier pain disappearing as his cool scrutiny chilled me right through.


alice_falling said...

I realise it is quite late in the day to make a comment, particularly since I am de-lurking. But I just had to say that this is one of the most painfully erotic things I have read in my life. Thanks.

PS And I really, really hope you will want to publish more of it.

Fluence said...

Gosh, thank you so much!

Yes, I will finish this story off, and write more with these characters, but I'm very slow at writing, sorry.

alice_falling said...

I'm sorry -- I didn't mean to put pressure on you. I write very slowly myself too.