He was so confident, sure that I'd do what he wanted, knowing I was too poor to refuse the offer, and that a part of me was intrigued by the possibilities. I carefully looked over the contract, still not sure he hadn't tricked me somehow, but it does all seem to be above board. I just have to follow his remote commands and blog about them, simple really.
We'd discussed the parameters online, he pushed me a bit further than I wanted to go, but I'm still relatively happy he won't be making me do things that would actually mess me up. Let's see if I can believe all his promises that he has my best interests at heart.
The first few days have been a bit weird, he just left me a list of things I had to change about my life, like really specific things to do with clothes and other things to throw out, new things to get, all expenses paid for by him of course.
The throwing away wasn't too bad, I didn't really like any of my stuff any more anyway, but the dresses and shoes he'd ordered for me were a bit strange, not my usual style, but at least they weren't some kind of Laura Ashley nightmare.
Then he had me stand in front of my mirror dressed up to his specifications and repeat the mantra: "I am a good little girl, good little girls always look their best."
I felt silly at first, but after a while, looking at the new me in the mirror, I started to feel proud, and even... a little wet.
He's been sending me a lot of text messages, some of them seemed to have such a good knowledge of what I was doing that he surely must be watching me. I looked around, but couldn't spot him. Maybe he'd employed someone to do it.
The things I was ordered to do seemed pointless, walking here and there, sitting and standing, but perhaps he was just getting me used to following directions immediately.
After a while it felt quite normal, it was almost relaxing, like a kind of meditation.
This week I had to repeat "I am a good little girl, good little girls always do what they're told." He's so skilled at finding the things that are humiliating yet arousing to say, and every night I fucked myself to sleep, still repeating the words.
I was told to send him a picture message of every man I saw that I found attractive, with a note about what drew me to them, their eyes, something they said, the band name on their T-Shirt, whatever it was.
It was difficult at first, I felt a bit stalky, but I soon learnt how to take snaps without being spotted, and it was fun building up a directory of hot guys ;)
I did worry a little what use he was going to make of it, hoped he wouldn't track them down and laugh about my comments with them, or beat them up or something.
Still, I had to do as I was told, and my mantra this week was "I am a good little girl, good little girls accept their desires." A bit of an odd one, but as I replayed the days men in my mind, imagining all the things I'd like them to do to me, I certainly enjoyed accepting them.
Week Four Day One
He made me get a date with a guy! I never ask people out, it was so embarrassing, I'd sent him a text with a picture and some incoherent ramblings like [His hands, I want them all over me, in my face, in my cunt, holding me down, playing me.]
He just replied saying [So ask him out.]
I couldn't just go up to someone and tell him to fuck me, of course, so I struck up some pointless conversation about the guitar he had with him, and sure enough his shyness was overcome by a music geek's desire to talk about tunings and amps.
"I am a good little girl, good little girls ask for what they want."
Week Four Day Three
The date started off as a bit of a disaster, we were both too awkward to get much of a conversation going, and I'm not sure he knew what he was doing there.
After a while though, I got a text asking how it was going, when I said it wasn't going well, he replied with a series of instructions, I couldn't tell if he was exasperated or amused.
First, I adjusted my body language, I usually have my arms folded and a stern expression. He made me relax, sit in a more feminine way, smile, touch my hair. Immediate results!
I always thought I was giving a guy the chance to break down my defences if I was a bit reserved at first, but my text instructor reminded me that not everyone has his natural dominance, and most guys take it as a sign you're not interested.
[Shall I tell him what I'm after sexually?] I checked while my date went to the loo.
[God no, girl! Defer to him, look up to him, make him feel special, ACT submissive, don't DEMAND things!]
So I tried, it was so hard, I'm only used to submitting as a last option, when someone's worn me down, broken through my defences, and here I was, acting sweet and coy, batting my eyelashes, hanging on his every word. It wasn't too bad, after he relaxed a bit he was pretty funny and easy to get along with, but it did feel unnatural.
It was like things were backwards, instead of a guy turning me on and that making me feel submissive, acting submissive for a guy was turning me on. I don't think it would have had such an effect usually, but because of the combination with the whole mindfuck of my contract, I was pretty horny by the end of the night.
[Do I go home with him?]
[No, you silly girl. Just kiss and say thank you, make another date soon.]
"I am a good little girl, good little girls wait to be taken." Although I was desperate to come, for some reason I couldn't get off by myself, it was like it wasn't enough, like I needed... someone to tell me to.
Week Four Day Six
I'd arranged for him to come over to mine for a meal, a bit of an obvious come on, but I'd checked and it was acceptable so long as I was well behaved. As instructed, I took care to make the flat nice and clean, and cooked the prescribed menu, including baking a cake for dessert.
The evening went well, I repeated my softer behaviour from the previous date, and my sexual need really did make me more focused on him, desperate to please him, to be appealing.
He was braver this time, I was obviously keen to spread my legs, and I think he started to tease me a bit, dropping in phrases that showed he was in control. I'd probably just be in for the usual being held down, semi-rapey sex but that would do just fine for now.
After the meal had settled we sat on the sofa together, listening to music. There was a bit of nice kissing and groping, but there didn't seem to be much heat. There was no way I could handle not getting fucked that night! As I'd become accustomed, when it was convenient I texted for instructions.
[Honestly, do I have to come over and guide his prick into you? Just pretend he's me and do what you're told. Be a good little girl.]
My pussy was on fire as I read the message. When my date came back he must have noticed the difference because he had a glint in his eyes and an evil smirk on his face.
His hand was up my skirt as soon as he sat back down, "Mmm, who's a wet little girl then."
I started, my eyes wide, no one had ever called me that before all this, but he had somehow been able to tell that I'd moan and writhe at his words. Was it a coincidence?
"M-me..." I said, my voice a few steps higher than usual. His touch was maddening, slow circles and a firm grip, and I was finding it hard not to beg him to fuck me.
He pulled me up onto his lap, "tell me, what dirty thoughts have you been having, to get you all hot and bothered like this?"
I couldn't think straight to lie. "Someone's been... giving me instructions... I have to do what he says... he made me, oh God! He made me ask you out, because I thought you were so fucking sexy..."
"My, my, you've got quite the imagination, haven't you?" He seemed impressed and turned on, but pouted in mock offence. "I thought it might have been all of my subtle domination, though..."
How could I have been so stupid? I should have kept my focus on him. I thought I could get back on track though. "What do you mean? You've just been taking charge, that's normal isn't it? Girls like me need a big strong man to tell them what to do..."
Gold. He grunted and unzipped his flies and slid me onto his cock before I could take a breath. My eyes rolled back a little, and he chuckled. "Well, let me make it easy for you, honey, just focus on the sensation of my cock in your cunt, sliding in and out, filling you up nice and safe, nice and controlled, nice and helpless..."
I was panting wildly, incredible sensations rolling through my body, I couldn't tell how much was just this guy, and how much was that I was aware of this pleasure being completely at the whim of my invisible controller.
Since I'd been told to pretend they were one and the same, everything had been much more intense, and I even started to get paranoid that they man I'd met with the contract was just a hired actor, that this was actually the man behind all the texts.
I felt tears in my eyes at how much I wanted this, how much I needed it, but I still couldn't tip over without permission. Somehow he knew my predicament, and leant to whisper in my ear. "You're a good little girl, good little girls come when they're told to. Come for me now."